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. . . . we need to understand them

The Oxford dictionary defines emotion as a strong mental or instinctive feeling such as love or fear. The Signet/Mosby Medical Encyclopedia defines emotions as: “the feeling part of awareness as compared with thinking; physical changes in emotion, whether the feelings are conscious or not”.

Emotions can influence our behaviour both constructively and destructively. They can bring us pleasure or pain dependent on how we respond in a situation or crisis. Emotions are powerful and real. They influence how we feel, think, and behave.

The medical dictionary defines emotion as: A state of arousal experienced as pleasant or unpleasant, and having three components; 

(1) subjective
(2) physiological and 
(3) behavioural. 
As an example: fear can involve an unpleasant subjective experience, increased physiological measures such as heart rate, and as behavioural - a tendency to flee from a fear provoking situation.

Emotions, properly understood and reasonably controlled can benefit us and help to prevent troubled relationships.

 Being able to communicate and express emotions or feelings properly provides an opportunity to understand one another better. Hopefully this can help in learning how to respect each others differences as to the way we feel about things. Communication and emotion go together. They are reciprocating. What we give is often what we get. Knowing how to express our emotions properly can help to avoid serious problems in our lives. When considering addiction, compulsive or codependent behaviour, this action can be the result of the choice made to bring comfort to the pain (emotions) being felt. 

Emotional confusion can lead to inappropriate sexual behaviour as a  result of loneliness brought on by a sense of rejection further resulting in low self-esteem.

The desire, the need to be accepted and overwhelming loneliness will sometimes cause people submit to sexual activity in an attempt to find love and happiness. Not being able to understand why they feel as they do and unable to control these feelings, they can become increasingly vulnerable, submitting to behaviour that they know is self destructive. The outcome is disastrous. Confusion over emotions makes it more complex. It is important to learn about our emotions. 

 . . . . what sparks them, and what to do about them.

Strength – or – Weakness ?

Healthy emotions are vital to healthy relationships. But many adverse factors can contribute towards the lack of trust and also an unhealthy fear of confronting emotions. This often happens with women who have been severely abused but seems to be most evident in men who have been taught to hide their emotions that it is “unmanly” to cry or show sensitivity.

To illustrate this point about men who prefer to conceal their emotions, lets consider a fictional character form the popular Star Trek series, the Vulcan Mr. Spok. He (Mr.Spok) is a classic example of a Stoic person. He is always in complete control of his emotions and accomplishes this by refusing to submit to them in any way what so ever. The Vulcan philosophy of living long and prospering is achieved by never submitting to anger, laughter, crying or displays of affections. To me this is more of a sign of a living dead. 

Emotions must be acknowledged and communicated appropriately in cultivating healthy relations. Healthy relationships are vital to living long and prospering, therefore emotions and communication can work together for one’s benefit. As a help towards developing healthier relationships through communicating emotions effectively we will be offering the following workshops and group sessions early in the new year. 

 Am I A  Vulcan ?

This is a work shop designed especially for men to help them to learn how to recognize, understand and communicate their emotions in order to improve their role as a father and a husband and gain a greater understanding of what is “a man”.   

Did I Marry A Vulcan ?

This work shop is designed to help women to gain a greater understanding as to what factors may cause a husband to behave as a Vulcan and ways to help him to discover and nurture his emotional strengths and maximizing his manhood. 
 Wounded emotions can be restored through willingness to confront root issues 
affecting emotions.

more information is available by calling OXFORD COUNSELLING SERVICES at 533-0834


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